do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize