barbara walters just said penis...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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