You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
