fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
