Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize