why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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