Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize