After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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