we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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