On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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