I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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