Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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