Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize