she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
