I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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