Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
