just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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