He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
