so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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