I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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