I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize