i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
