hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
