Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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