you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
