i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
