My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
