Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
