I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
