Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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