Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
