Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
