'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
