I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
