PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
