What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
