The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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