i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
