i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
