Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
