FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
