and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
