Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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