32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
