he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
