how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
