Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
