I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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