**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
