fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
