after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
