I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
