wakey wakey hands off snakey
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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