Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm always down for nudity.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
