Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
