Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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