quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
