All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
