this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
